In a nobodygoeshere.com exclusive, the Anaheim PD has revealed a new standard issue Police Car. The administration says, and I quote "Since we don't want to pay for proper screening and training of good police officers, we will just give the bad ones more gear... Right? That works... What's the problem?" (Our source obviously wanted to remain anonymous, for fear of becoming a civilian in Anaheim, CA, and being exposed to the same level of police brutality as everyone else) It is expected that the new squad cars will allow the struggling department to bring the law to a new level of enforcement.
Some of the features of the new cars include:
- Sturdier brush Guards with a built in spray mechanism for the quick removal of blood after hitting someone with your car.
- Patrol car dash cams that can "fail unexpectedly" at the push of a button.
- A secret compartment used to hold even more bribe money to get the cell phone off that person who saw you sick an attack dog on a stroller.
- A free copy of "Thinly Veiled Excuses: How to Find a Reason to Attack Civilians" In the glove box
Thanks for the original pic, batman.
This is in response to the atrocious behavior of the Anaheim PD. See below: